nursery rhymes with claire

the itsy bitsy claire

the itsy bitsy claire
got food all over the place.

In came her dad and washed it off her face,

in came her mom and changed all of her clothes,

and the itsy bitsy claire made a mess all over again

Twinkle twinkle little Claire

Twinkle twinkle little Claire,

How you make your father swear.

All around you there are tears,

Giant messes and lots of smears--

 Twinkle twinkle little Claire,

How we love your grumpy stare.

If you give a Claire some toys

If you give a Claire some toys,

She'll ignore them to play with a water bottle and some wipes (way more interesting).


This will remind her that she hasn't urped on anything of yours recently,

so she'll go find your keys (or shoes, or purse, etc.)


After urping, she'll decide that she's hungry, so she'll want a snack.

Unless it's vegetables. Then she'll suck her bottom lip in for defense against possible invasion.


Eating will remind her of how tasty her fingers are, so she'll suck on those and get baby food everywhere.

All that cleaning will make her tired, so she'll want to take a nap.

Her dad will offer to help her sleep, but he'll fall asleep instead.


So then she'll want to be left alone with her blanket and giraffe, and stare you down until you leave.

When she wakes up, she'll want to go for a ride, and of course she'll want to ride in the trunk.

When you refuse, she'll put on her sunglasses and sulk.

But when she sees the swings she'll forget she's mad and want to play.

And play.

And play.

And play.

Everything will be fascinating or funny.

Until all of a sudden it's not.

She'll find comfort in trying to eat anything that looks like it might be food,

and then she'll probably want to be left alone.

So you'll give her some toys. And chances are, if you give a Claire some toys...

She'll ignore them to play with something else.

Some Claires

Some Claires like to have wild and crazy hair.

Other Claires prefer cute hats that coordinate with their outfits. 

And still others like to steal hats from their dad so they can look like super cool thug-babies.

Some  Claires like to stay in their pajamas all day long.

And some Claires prefer to be chubby nudists.

Some Claires like to eat their fingers,

some Claires like to stick out their tongues,

And other Claires like to smile and wave to the camera.

And sometimes, some Claires like to snuggle up on their dad's legs and fall asleep to the sound of their mom reading a story.

Things that don't impress her majesty.

Claire was singularly unimpressed by St. Patrick's Day, the color green, and socks;

She was unimpressed by rock shows, strollers, and bare feet;

She was unimpressed by skiers, flannel, and snow;

Nor was Claire impressed by warm weather, sunlight, or hammocks.

Her parents offered her a bumpo throne--she was not impressed.

They bought her a giant swimming pool and tried to make her a tiny swim top. She was unimpressed.

They found her other babies to play with; she was unimpressed (though to be fair, the Lily didn't seem too impressed either).

Her parents threatened to stick her back in her bassinet, which she was now much too big for. Claire didn't care.

Finally her parents left her alone, and Claire got what she wanted all along--to suck on not just one, but both hands, in peace.  

Let it be noted, however, that she was still unimpressed.

road trip!

claire had her first road trip this last week, from logan to reno. 8 hours in the car, plus food breaks. it was a party.

claire had never been in a stroller without her carseat before, so she wasn't quite sure what to make of the experience. she enjoyed kicking her legs, but got rather frustrated when arching her back and wiggling didn't result in freedom.
we put a blanket over her to keep her from getting sunburnt, making her look like a tiny pink ghost. if you look closely you can see her trying to eat the blanket.

then she slumped and passed out, as is her way.

we took her blanket off for a picture by the sundial, and you can see her squinty-eyed and drunken attempt to get her fingers in her mouth again as she partially wakes up.

in an effort to expose claire to knowledge and stuff, we took her to the planetarium, where she was singularly unimpressed with touching a fallen star. she probably would have liked it better if we'd let her suck on it.

we went to a showing of "extreme planets" which also failed to impress her, and she fell asleep about 30 seconds in.

her favorite part of the day was trying to eat her fingers, something she does determinedly on a regular basis. she often cries when she gets the wrong fingers in her mouth, or when she momentarily misplaces her hands. 

she also got to meet her cousin tori, whom she enjoyed yelling at. 

 she was remarkably well-behaved, considering how long she was trapped in her carseat, and either slept, squawked at her giraffe, or gazed at herself in the mirror while we were driving. she did enjoy being free whenever we stopped, which she expressed by wiggling her little tongue around like a chubby and not terribly mobile snake.

actually, she kinda looks like one of those toys you stick on car windows with suction cups, like bill the cat. we're just glad everything went so well, since we're taking another road trip in 2 weeks!