Some Claires

Some Claires like to have wild and crazy hair.

Other Claires prefer cute hats that coordinate with their outfits. 

And still others like to steal hats from their dad so they can look like super cool thug-babies.

Some  Claires like to stay in their pajamas all day long.

And some Claires prefer to be chubby nudists.

Some Claires like to eat their fingers,

some Claires like to stick out their tongues,

And other Claires like to smile and wave to the camera.

And sometimes, some Claires like to snuggle up on their dad's legs and fall asleep to the sound of their mom reading a story.

Things that don't impress her majesty.

Claire was singularly unimpressed by St. Patrick's Day, the color green, and socks;

She was unimpressed by rock shows, strollers, and bare feet;

She was unimpressed by skiers, flannel, and snow;

Nor was Claire impressed by warm weather, sunlight, or hammocks.

Her parents offered her a bumpo throne--she was not impressed.

They bought her a giant swimming pool and tried to make her a tiny swim top. She was unimpressed.

They found her other babies to play with; she was unimpressed (though to be fair, the Lily didn't seem too impressed either).

Her parents threatened to stick her back in her bassinet, which she was now much too big for. Claire didn't care.

Finally her parents left her alone, and Claire got what she wanted all along--to suck on not just one, but both hands, in peace.  

Let it be noted, however, that she was still unimpressed.

road trip!

claire had her first road trip this last week, from logan to reno. 8 hours in the car, plus food breaks. it was a party.

claire had never been in a stroller without her carseat before, so she wasn't quite sure what to make of the experience. she enjoyed kicking her legs, but got rather frustrated when arching her back and wiggling didn't result in freedom.
we put a blanket over her to keep her from getting sunburnt, making her look like a tiny pink ghost. if you look closely you can see her trying to eat the blanket.

then she slumped and passed out, as is her way.

we took her blanket off for a picture by the sundial, and you can see her squinty-eyed and drunken attempt to get her fingers in her mouth again as she partially wakes up.

in an effort to expose claire to knowledge and stuff, we took her to the planetarium, where she was singularly unimpressed with touching a fallen star. she probably would have liked it better if we'd let her suck on it.

we went to a showing of "extreme planets" which also failed to impress her, and she fell asleep about 30 seconds in.

her favorite part of the day was trying to eat her fingers, something she does determinedly on a regular basis. she often cries when she gets the wrong fingers in her mouth, or when she momentarily misplaces her hands. 

she also got to meet her cousin tori, whom she enjoyed yelling at. 

 she was remarkably well-behaved, considering how long she was trapped in her carseat, and either slept, squawked at her giraffe, or gazed at herself in the mirror while we were driving. she did enjoy being free whenever we stopped, which she expressed by wiggling her little tongue around like a chubby and not terribly mobile snake.

actually, she kinda looks like one of those toys you stick on car windows with suction cups, like bill the cat. we're just glad everything went so well, since we're taking another road trip in 2 weeks!

all about claire

Claire's been having a lot of firsts the past few weeks, including her first time sleeping in her own room, in her crib,  

getting her first haircut (she looked like a balding old man with a mullet from the back), 

sitting in her Bumpo (she likes to sit and look around like she's on a tiny throne...but after 10 minutes or so she starts to get tired and slumps over and starts crying), 

discovering herself in the mirror (she gazes at herself for hours at a time, and often falls asleep doing so. The first day that she did it, we got Chinese food that night and discovered that Claire is the sign of the snake; our placemat said that snakes tend to be stubborn and rather vain.),

learning to scoot around (she scoots backwards until she hits something, usually the corners of her play gym, or the head of her bassinet, and then she gets stuck and cries. She also likes to turn in circles, usually at complete 90 degree intervals.),

and her first ponytails and pigtails (she's so darn cute and she has more hair than most small children),

 and the discovery that her arms belong to her. She'll just hold one arm in the air and stare at it for ever. She also wears mostly 3-6 month clothing now and even fits into some 6-month stuff. She has multiple arm and thigh rolls, and even wrist and ankle rolls. why is fatness on babies so cute? She also made friends with the baby on her diaper box and will often spend the whole morning chatting it up with his little bald picture, ignoring her parents completely. Kinda sad when we can't compete with a picture on cardboard.

I left the room for two minutes and she wiggled around so that she was lying in the opposite direction--apparently she wanted to gaze at her best friend from a new angle. 

And, drum roll please, she finally turned completely over for the first time yesterday, after days of taunting us by rolling onto her side and back. 

She hated it and hasn't done it since. 

She also laughed for the first time yesterday, but refused to keep laughing when we tried to record her. It's a good thing she's so darn cute.

merry Christmas and a happy new year

Claire's resolutions for 2014:

Become a merbaby. While I enjoy swimming and my hair looks awesome as it floats around my head, I can't help feeling that if I could only somehow grow fins and find some water that's deeper than 2 inches, I would be even more amazing. Plus, then I could ride a seahorse.

Take up boxing. I'm pretty sure I could beat up everyone in this photo if I had a robe like Rocky's. 

Steal Santa's sleigh. He has a million magical elves, they can rig something up for him. Meanwhile, I would like to travel in style. Plus my giraffe has expressed an interest in learning how to fly, and I'm sure the reindeer could teach him.

Perfect the art of the photobomb. Oh wait---already did. 

Figure out how to control my limbs. My minions ripped the paper off of this box and it looked like they enjoyed it. If I can discover the secret behind getting my arms and  hands to work for me instead of against me, I will no doubt be able to keep my plug from running away all the time, and, eventually, I will destroy the world.

Become a baby model for the Ravens. That's right, I look so good it's probably illegal for me not to be getting paid.

Take more naps. I already take at least three a day, but I find that they are one of my favorite activities, so I think I'll indulge myself.

Cry whenever I don't get my way. Granted, I already do this, and it's not really a resolution, more of a fact of life, but I just didn't want the minions to get their hopes up that anything would be changing in the near future. It won't. 

I am the supreme ruler.

And if you disagree with me, I will cry all over you (as soon as I get my tear ducts functioning on a regular basis).

Claire's Top Gifts for the Christmas Season

Hello, today I'd like to welcome you to *"Claire's Top Gifts for the Christmas Season." I, Captain Adorable, will be your host.

 #1: A poofy coat

Poofy coats are not only stylish, but they make it practically impossible to move. This forces your minions to cater to your every whim, since you conveniently can't even move your arms. Plus, who wants to move when they're snug and warm?

#2: A stylish headband

No matter what you do with your face, a cute headband will always make you look sophisticated and all-around stunning. Perfect for the unattractive baby in your life.

#3: A living armchair

The best place to sit is on someone. Regular chairs may have their charms, but if you really want to get the perfect holiday gift, a live armchair is the way to go. This particular model features several different positions, an automatic rocking sensor for when you're feeling fussy, and it can be mobilized if you're bored with your current view.

#4: A hoody

Hooded jackets are the way to go if you feel like being warm while still being able to move your limbs. They also provide you with a subtle gangster vibe, letting other babies know they better not try and steal your plug, or you'll spit up in their face.

#5: A friend

Stuffed animals make the best friends. Real people are too needy and time consuming and just exhausting. Didn't you read Calvin and Hobbes? Animal type is up to you--I personally prefer my giraffe, since he is a vegetarian and I don't have to worry about him eating my minions like a tiger might.

#6: Sunglasses

Sunglasses are the perfect disguise. People can be all, "hey, that baby just urped all over my shirt," and you can put on your sunglasses and say "hey, that sucks. I never even saw a baby--that kid must have lightning fast reflexes."

Thanks for joining me for this year's edition of "Claire's Top Gifts for the Christmas Season." Please join us next year for "Claire's Dating Advice for Babies."






*Captain Adorable does not guarantee that these gifts will look as good on other babies as they do on her. In fact, they probably won't. Get used to disappointment.
Merry Christmas.